*Skiing. We've been married for 13 years and Ben had only been to ski once since. He used to ski a lot more --he says. In fact, 14 years ago, right before he told me he was interested in me, he had gone away to ski for a few days. But once married, my being pregnant or with a new baby has kept him off the snow. Through the academic enrichment program that we do through our church, every year there is an opportunity for the kids to go and take skiing lessons for the first 6 weeks of the year. We decided this was as good a time for Ben to take Elena. Every Friday morning, they got up early, and with their packed lunches they went off. Ben was one of the chaperones for the group.
*Elena turned 12 this year. That's a big birthday here. Twelve means you can be a part of the youth group of the church, no more Children's church Sunday school. We had decided to take Elena on a special outing with just Mom and Dad. Shopping, time alone with Mom and Dad, and a special dinner at a restaurant, just the three of us. We had been planning it for a while. It also happened that her actual birth day would be a day of skiing. They were coming home to home made pizza and were going to pick up sodas and ice-cream for floats as dessert.
*January 20th, 2017 -- Newly elected President Donald Trump was to be sworn in to office.
It must have been about 1:30-2:00 P.M. when my phone rang. When I saw the name on the screen I knew it couldn't be good news. The calm voice of our CFCP pastor, Daniel came over the phone, he told me that Ben had fallen. I don't remember the conversation verbatim, but the phrases that stuck out were "He's ok. He knows who he is. He can move his fingers and his toes. They're taking him to the hospital as a precaution." Thus began the most interesting and adventuresome season of our married life.
Top and bottom left: At the site of the accident. Bottom right: Home -- that same night.
I have only been able to put the story together by pieces of what all of the people there remember from that day. The short of it, Ben took a jump, miscalculated his speed, did a flip in the air and (before finishing the flip) landed on his head-neck-shoulder. He was unresponsive --no one can really tell me how long. When he came to, he didn't know where he was. He thought it was August. He did remember that Elena was with him and asked about/for her... three times... in succession. When his friends reached him right after he fell, they told him not to move... but he wasn't trying to move --at all. It was scary. He was heading to the hospital in Malone (2 hr drive from our house?), I was alone with 5 kids. Elena was still in the mountain with the group from CFA.
The hours following the phone call were a mixture of strings of phone calls and texts offering help, and sudden periods of utter silence in which I felt so alone. It was confusing to know what exactly had happened, how concerned I should be. No one that I spoke to seemed to have enough answers. There were so many offers of help, yet... I didn't know what I may need help with just yet... All of a sudden everything seemed so uncertain. "It is only a precaution", I told myself... "What was that verse again? The one I've been reading so much this week..."
"He will not be afraid of evil tidings;
His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is established;
He will not be afraid..." (Psalms 112:7-8a)
So I stuck to the plan, kept making pizza, packing up the kitchen, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and waiting. Slowly more information came in. I heard his voice. Daniel explained he couldn't really talk much yet. Pastor Rick called, he filled in the blanks for me. They were waiting to speak to a Doctor. No fractures on his spine, it seemed. X-rays and CT scans had been done. I kept going. Until being told differently, Ben would be home that night, so I'd just keep going with the plans for the evening --if nothing else.
Finally, another phone call. Ben's voice. He's being discharged, he's coming home. Relief. "What a miracle, he's alive and well! ...wait 'till I get my hands on him! A jump?! What is he, 15? Grace, I need to have grace. He's alive, he is well, that's what matters" Then another phone call, Ryan, "I'm bringing your daughter home." Elena came home, shortly after that Ben came home. He painfully half walked-half dragged himself in and dropped in a chair. He seemed to think that life was to continue its normal course. I skimmed the hospital discharge papers, no idea what to do next. I lost track of time. Served the kids pizza, left them eating at the table and excused myself to call his Primary Care Dr. who happens to be a friend from church. He gave me instructions for the next 24-48 hours and the week ahead until we could get in to see him: the least possible amount of stress. "How do you manage that when you have to empty your downstairs, move to an apartment, and walk through a major house renovation?!" More and more questions kept piling on. I made phone calls, not so much looking for answers as much as just friendly support, you know? I lost track of time. "How long will his recovery take... It could be weeks, it could be months. What to do... what to do... He is still talking about taking Elena out tomorrow, bless his heart!" I'm a doer. In times of crisis, I do the next thing. I went into crisis mode. "Make the next phone call, get the next answer, gather enough information to make the next decision... wake him up, make eye contact, make sure he knows where he is, make sure he knows what happened... do we move out? do we postpone the project? What is wiser?"
The night hours gave way to the morning and with a little more clarity we (Ben and I) talked. He asked me not to postpone the house project. We spoke to Pastor Rick, he helped us sort things through. Decision: We're moving on with the project, but we're not moving out. We'll stay upstairs. As for the rest, take it one day at a time. One moment at a time, if necessary. Somehow, we were ready for the crew to arrive on Monday morning!
Before - Room 1
Before - Room 2
Before - kitchen
Before - guest room
All "buckled up" and ready for the renovation!