This past Sunday I was sitting (I had to nurse the baby, thus "sitting") in church during worship. Our Pastor was leading worship and he brought back an oldie. He led us in "Trading my Sorrows". When we began singing the "Yes, Lord, Yes, Lord" part, I was reflecting in my heart on what that "Yes" may look like at different seasons of our lives. Pastor Rick then went on to share on our approach to our circumstances, based on the parable of the talents in Mark 25 for his sermon. My mind and heart wheels were already turning!
When God asks, some times the "yes" just comes so easily! Some other times I wrestle, I don't like what He asks from me. Some times I feel like I have "given enough" in one particular area and "this time, it's just too much" to be stretched any more. But I have learned that I'm much better off in the end by submitting to His loving requests than following what I may have thought a better idea! The request this time seemed rather easy at first: Release my husband to leave us for almost three weeks this Summer so he could lead the missions trip to Spain. I have witnessed my husband sacrificially yet joyfully lay down his own desires to pursue short term missions for our family. I know of at least 5 trips that he has said "no" to off the bat because it wouldn't be convenient to leave me and the children behind. The more I thought about it though... Spain just happens to be the one country I have always wished to visit --besides Guatemala. We kind of felt like we didn't really get to enjoy last Summer between waiting for a baby, adjusting to life with a newborn AND dealing with the chicken pox... Did I really want to "lose" three weeks of Summer as a family. The list could go on, and on. However, the more and more I thought about it --and didn't like it-- the more I knew I had to say "yes" and do it as quickly as possible.
So my "yes" this season looks like this:
**Packing my dearest man, my best friend, my love and seeing him drive off to be separated for the longest period of time we've ever been away from each other.
**Packing my eldest daughter and send her off to lands unknown. She has never left me for this long.
**Missing them terribly.
**Bracing myself for three weeks of "single parenting" five children.
Once I stopped thinking about all the ways this trip would affect me and began appreciating all the potential I had before me, I realized that my "Yes" this season also looks like this:
**I get to see my husband and oldest daughter stretched beyond their comfort zones as they serve a culture that needs Jesus, and a couple that has given so much to His Kingdom. Their hearts are being knit into a country my heart has longed to see!
**I get to focus on Adriana as an older child and help her grow in leadership and self-confidence. I get an opportunity to work much closer with her as we spend more one on one time and strengthen her identity in Christ. I have the honor of seeing God stretching her and growing her more and more beautifully in Him, and I get to be an intricate part of the process.
**I get to make a memorable Summer with five of these little souls God entrusted me! From taking turns sleeping on mama's bed, to swimming lessons, a little nature journaling, a lot of sun, grocery store odysseys, 4th of July parade, races in the back yard, games of Simon Says to keep them distracted while our tires get changed, painting, movie nights (and/or rainy mornings), and ice cream dinners, we have been busy! I'm exhausted, we have had some really tough times with high emotions and tempers (let's not forget whose kids these are! Ha!), but we have learned so much. I have learned so much! What a unique opportunity I have to cherish them and love them these almost-three-weeks.
To think I almost gave in to resenting being "left behind"! Naps have been impossible, night time sleep somewhat elusive, and although I don't like being away from Ben and Elena, more and more I am realizing each moment that this wasn't my husband asking to lead a Short Missions Trip. This was God asking us as a family to invest in the Kingdom of God. I'm so glad we said "Yes, Lord".